


Going back

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron Livesy - Freeform, Cain Dingle - Freeform, F/F, Moira Barton - Freeform, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Robert Sugden - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6294574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After learning that Ross was behind Robert getting shot Debbie stormed out of the village. Where did she go and where is she now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going back

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first fanfiction I've ever written and it's not on my own language. So sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes! I'm doing this in chapters as I feel this is going to take a while. The beginning indicates to the end, so there is more to come. I wanted to look back in Debbie's history as I really miss her on a show at the moment, and I wanted her to remember the best relationship she ever had. I also wanted Debbie and Holly to bond -they are actually sisters now! Please leave a comment, would really appreciate it!

She had instantly felt like home. Like there hadn’t been years between them, they had just continued from where they left. Like there hadn’t been anybody else since.

******

 

But of course there had been. Sometimes, when she couldn’t sleep at nights, she spent hours thinking about the mistakes she had made in the past, the wrong relationships she had had. Cameron of course was the worst, there was no way she could ever truly get over him and everything that had happened. But the list of mistakes had continued, there was Pete and then, well, Ross. It was like she never learned. The horror she had felt when everything came out, when she learned the truth about Robert being shot, it was all too much of a dé ja vu. 

She kept thinking she was somehow cursed, the way she seemed to pull all these murderous people at her, really looked like it. And Cameron wasn’t the first murderer in her life, Carl hadn’t been the first victim whose death she had helped to cover. Maybe that’s why she deserved all the bad things that had happened to her, and it would continue until she’d made amends with the past. And she knew where to begin. From where it first went wrong.

 

******

 

It had struck on her mind when she drove off the village that night with Sarah and Jack, leaving Andy and her dad in despair. She could never come back unless she’d get things right, she had to break the curse. After headless all night driving she had rang Moira’s daughter Holly. She never thought of her or Holly’s siblings as her family, but technically they were step-sisters, and she needed a place to stay with the kids. A place to think and to get the plan together, and so she headed to London.

Holly had been very helpful. They were never friends when they both lived in the village but Debbie had always liked her. They were actually quite alike, independent and stubborn. If her dad wouldn’t had messed things with the Bartons at the time, she and Holly might have became friends at some point. Life had so many surprises, back then nobody could have guessed that one day they would all be a family. It would had been nice to have a sister when growing up, but at least she kind of had now. Holly let Debbie and the kids stay at hers and didn’t mention about it to anyone. Debbie couldn’t bare telling her the truth of what had happened and why it was so important that nobody knew where she was, and Holly was ok with that. She had had enough problems of her own in the past, she knew that sometimes people just needed space rather than anything else. She didn’t ask questions about Debbie’s awol but other than that she was very noisy. Debbie could tell she missed the village, she was just so desperate for gossip. Debbie knew Moira missed both of her daughters and that she would be very happy to have them back in the village. Thinking of that made Debbie sad: she knew she was greatly missed too, she had had texts from her dad asking if she was alright. If only she could have Cain helping her on her mission but this was something she needed to do on her own.

 

******

 

Sarah and Jack stayed with Holly when Debbie met the first person she had to meet on her way back to past. At least he was easy to track down, he had even kept the same phone number and he lived here in London. Debbie couldn’t help but feeling a bit nervous when she entered the cafe they had chosen to meet in. 

 

“I thought I’d never see you again”, Daz said when she walked into his table. He stood up and rushed to give her a hug.

“It feels like a lifetime ago”, he said quietly.

Daz had grown up, he was much taller now than the last time Debbie had seen him, but still very thin. He had short blonde beard and a bit over grown hair, he now had sort of a bohemian look that he never had in the village. Daz looked like a member of some indie rock band, strange and familiar at the same time. 

“I know”, was all Debbie could say. “I’ve missed you.”

That was actually true. Before Daz had ruined things by falling for Debbie they had been friends. In fact, Daz had been her only friend for a long time, her rock at the time of her first pregnancy, and had always been there for her when she needed. And God knows Debbie could have done with a friend later too. 

They ordered coffees and drank them silently, eyeing each other. It wasn’t easy to start talking when there was so much between them.

“So how’s everyone, how’s Victoria? I never hear from her. I know you and Andy got another kid, ‘cause me and him hardly ever speak of anything else than his kids. Jack, is it?”, Daz said just to break the silence.

“Yes, Jack”, said Debbie with a quick smile. She didn’t usually really think about where that name came from, but seeing the look in Daz’s eyes reminded her what Jack Sugden had meant to Andy and Daz.

“And Vic is doing great. She’s a chef now in the Woolie and she’s married to Adam Barton, who, actually, is my step-brother, now that my dad got married to his mom. Small village hey, everyone’s related nowdays.”

“And the rest, how’s Aaron? In prison I guess?”, Daz asked challenging.

“Aaron’s had a tough year. Did you know he was gay? He had a boyfriend, Jackson, few years ago, but he died. He then moved to France, came back and started an affair with your brother.”

“Andy?!”, Daz cried out.

“No, Robert. He also moved back to Emmerdale, to the Home Farm with his fiancee and her family. Robert and Aaron had an affair for months without anyone knowing but in the end it turned out very bad.”, Debbie got silent, thinking about Robert getting shot. She didn’t want to talk about it, so she just left it there.

“Wow. I would never had guessed that! There really is something in your Dingle blood, it really runs in the family!”

“What runs?”, asked Debbie confused.

“That gay-thing. You, your mom, now Aaron… But it kinda makes sense now, Aaron I mean, the way he always was so angry with everything... By the way, have you seen her?”, Daz gave Debbie a quick look. Debbie knew immediately who he meant. 

“No, I haven’t even heard of her. That is actually the reason I wanted to see you, to hear if you know something of her whereabouts. Sandy mentioned sometimes that you two had had a contact or something…” Debbie muttered.

“She stayed at mine when she got out. She didn’t want to go back to Emmerdale, wanted to have a fresh start. She said she had made you promise not to think of her anymore, that it was all over and that you both needed to move on. And judging by what I’ve heard from Andy, you have moved. I told her that when she asked me if I knew anything about you.”

“Where is she now? I need to find her, I need to sort some things out and I need her help.”

“She only stayed for couple of months. She then left to South-Africa where her parents were at the time”, Daz noticed the desperate look on Debbie’s face and continued “But last year she came back to England. This time she moved in with your cousin, Eli.”

“Oh”, Debbie whispered. “Eli.”

“Yep, another poor soul who’s ever fallen for you”, Daz said with a little smile. “Look, I have his address somewhere. I can find it for you and text it to you later, if you want to. I shouldn’t say this, but I always felt Jasmine wasn’t honest when she said she never wanted to see you again. I think it’s a good idea to try and sort things out.”

 

******

 

Later that evening, when Jack and Sarah were already sleeping, and Debbie and Holly were sharing a bottle of red wine, Debbie received a message from Daz.

From: Daz Eden  
"I didn’t find Eli’s address so phoned him. He’s moved to Ireland and lives in Dublin now and so does Jas. They live together but not like, together. I told him you’re looking for her. He said he needs to ask Jas if it’s ok to tell the address."

 

“No!”, cried Debbie, “He’s ruined everything! Jasmine wasn’t supposed to know yet I was looking for her! She’s just going to hide now. “

“Who is this Jasmine you’re looking for?”, Holly asked and poured more wine to Debbie’s glass. “Pretty important to you as you’re doing all this for her.”

“She was my friend”, Debbie said, typing angrily a text message back to Daz. Just like the old times, Daz tried to help but actually made things worse. 

“I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t really do friends, do you?”, Holly asked softly. “And I remember hearing some rumors of you and Ashley’s niece. That’s her, isn’t she?”

Debbie paused texting and looked at Holly, clearly trying to decide what to say. She hadn’t talked about Jasmine to anyone in a long, long time. It was like she had shut her in a box, sealed it and put away. Continued her life like it hadn’t happened. As if she hadn’t happened. But even though she never mentioned her, she did think about her. She had dreams of her, of them, and when those dreams happened, she woke up with tears on her face. She had never dealt with losing Jasmine, she had just moved on, something she had learned from her mother. 

“Jasmine was a friend at the beginning. And then she was more.”, Debbie didn’t know how to speak about it, not because she was ashamed or anything, it was just hard to open old wounds. Debbie pressed "send" and the message she had written left her phone.

“I was a right mess after Robert had played with my feelings, and all that stuff with being a teenage mother to Sarah... Andy didn’t want me, and I was constantly falling out with my dad and, well, I don’t need to tell you how horrible he can be... She had a crush on me and first I turned her down. But we got closer and closer and suddenly I couldn’t deny I also had feelings. She made me feel good about myself, for the first time ever I felt worth something, special even. I was a school drop-out with a messed up life and she was this clever, beautiful creature with a great future ahead. What did she see in me, I never understood. We had this on-off relationship for years, ups and downs, even moved in together, but I could tell she was growing apart from me. She started dating blokes more and more and it was breaking my heart. I didn’t want to let go of her, and when she started seeing Shane, and it happened, well.. I was there for her when she needed me.”

“What happened? Who’s Shane?”

“Shane was this dodgy police officer she dated. Jasmine found out some very serious things about him and he reacted badly. He attacked her, tried to rape her, and I only got there just in time to stop it. But then it got worse. Shane was on me and Jasmine tried to help me by hitting Shane with a chair leg--- she went too far and he -- he---died.”

“I helped her to cover up what had happened. Me and my cousin Eli. Jasmine couldn’t take it, she was falling apart and of course it all came out in the end. Victoria fell in the lake where Eli had dumped the body and it was found. I got arrested and Jasmine ran away. It was okay, I didn’t want her to be found, I was ready to go down for what had happened. I had failed protecting Jasmine so I felt the guilt. I had nothing to lose, my mum and dad had left me and Sarah was better off without me. If I took the blame, Jasmine could have the life she deserved. But she couldn’t do it. She turned up at my plea and made a full confession. And that was it. I walked out free and Jasmine was locked in. The last time I saw her she told me she would always love me, but that I shouldn’t wait for her. First I felt like I couldn’t ever move on, but after I got Sarah back I started feeling I could actually live again. Then I got my whole family back, I found Cameron, and for a while everything seemed to be okay.”

Debbie stopped talking with a sigh. Holly leaned over to give her a hug, she had never known these things about Debbie. She had always thought Debbie was so tough and unbreakable, giving people the impression of an ice queen. For the first time Holly realized she must have had so hard life with both of her parents abandoning her, losing touch with Sarah and losing someone she really had loved, all at the same time actually. And as Holly knew, more had come in the later years. Poor Debbie, at least Holly’s parents had never abandoned her no matter how horrible things she had done in the past. Debbie stayed in Holly’s hug for a while and couldn’t help but sobbing a bit. Last weeks had been so tough and going back on a memory lane didn’t actually help. But it was something she had to do.

Debbie’s phone gave a sound of a message. It was Daz.

From: Daz Eden  
"Don’t give me that! I got you the address, Jas is ok to meet you. Now, do you want it or not?!"

Debbie felt her heart beating so hard and all she was able to do was handing her phone to Holly as her hands had started shaking. Holly read the message and gave Debbie a nod.

"Right. We're doing this then, aren't we?", she said and started typing a reply on Debbie's phone. Debbie gave a little smile at her and lift a glass to her lips. The hazel eyes she had missed were closer to her every minute.


End file.
